How Placido Stole Christmas
by Psychid
Summary: Placido is one of those 5D's baddies who obviously hates Christmas really much; and a classic Dr. Seuss story drives him into trying to ruin it for Neo Domino City. CONTAINS SPOILERS


_**MERRY CHRISTMAS! …AGAIN! =D**_

Yes, it's everyone's favorite season of snow… the season of winter… and the season to be greedy and receive lots of presents from people we don't know…

'TIS CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY! =D

For those of you who are fans of LittleKuriboh's _Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series_, you'll probably know that LittleKuriboh himself wouldn't have time to whip up a Christmas special because he was dealing with a cold. D= Personally, I was kind of sad to hear this, though I didn't take it personally. ;)

THIS LOOKS LIKE A JOB FOR ME. =D

You know, the first time I did a Christmas fic, it was a Yu-Gi-Oh! GX fic that was a parody of Dr. Seuss's _How the Grinch Stole Christmas_ (with everyone's favorite girly teacher, Dr. Crowler, playing the Grinch). Unfortunately, that story no longer exists, mainly because I felt that it was just… _bad_, in a way (but I dunno)… =(

Fortunately, I've brought my Grinch parody back, except _now_, it's going to be a Yu-Gi-Oh! _5D's_ fic! =D …Yeah, I'm aware that there aren't much 5D's fans anywhere (including LK), but I still hope you enjoy it.

Also, you know how I've used the characters' English dubbed names for my Yu-Gi-Oh! GX oneshot fics? Well, for the _5D's_ anime, I'll be using the characters' original (Japanese) names instead of their English dubbed names, just to make you all happy, especially for _this_ time of year. ;D

So here's… THE 411!

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**Full Summary:** Placido is one of those 5D's baddies who obviously hates Christmas really much. And after reading a classic Dr. Seuss story which this very story parodies, Placido and his cohorts, Lucciano and Jose, devise a plot to ruin Christmas for Neo Domino (or at least they _try_ to do it, anyway).

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yu-Gi-Oh! GX, Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's, or any other Yu-Gi-Oh! anime that Kazuki Takahashi, the series' actual creator, may come up with. I also do not own _How the Grinch Stole Christmas_, and I am not nor was I ever related to Dr. Seuss in any form of way. The only things I own are my old computer with poor performance, my poor writing skills, and my intoxicated sense of humor.

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Oh, and when you see sentences that are [almost] completely in italicized font _like this_, that means that there is some narrating going on in the story. Just saying.

Hope you enjoy it, everybody! =D RER!

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**HOW PLACIDO STOLE CHRISTMAS**

_**

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T'was the day before Christmas,  
and all through the town,  
everyone was excited;  
there was not a single frown!

_The reason to _be_ excited  
was on the very next day  
would be the day of Christmas;  
and it was practically on its way!_

Yes, it was indeed the day before Christmas in the populous city of Neo Domino; and this was going to be a very _special_ holiday to celebrate! You see, ever since Yusei Fudo of the once infamous Satellite, and his two friends, Jack Atlas and Crow Hogan, fought in the final battle against the dark signers, a bridge was constructed to honor the event. Thus, the two nations of Neo Domino and Satellite have finally made peace with each other.

Here at this moment, we see Yusei Fudo, a tall man with a serious expression on his face, and a hairdo that was a complete rip-off of Yugi Muto's. He was just staring at the city's many citizens taking part in the traditional activities such as donating to charity, hanging up Christmas decorations, and everyone's _favorite_ holiday tradition of the last-minute Christmas shopping.

He was admiring—if that would be an appropriate word to use—all of that until a voice behind him suddenly broke his concentration. "Hey, Yusei!" Yusei immediately turned his head and found that the voice belonged to none other than Crow Hogan, who was slightly shorter than Yusei with spiky orange hair and a piercing in his left eyebrow.

"Hey, Crow," smiled Yusei. "What are you up to?"

"Oh, nothing," answered Crow. "I'm just doing the usual: the admiration of the snow, the decision of what presents I want to get for my best buds, all that stuff… That, and I want to tell you that I found the _perfect_ solution to finally beat Aki in a snowball fight!"

"Let me guess: you lost to her _again_?" asked Yusei, raising an eyebrow.

"IT WAS A TIE!" shouted Crow. He slipped off the backpack he carried with him, and took out some kind of multi-blaster gun. _"Behold!"_

"What _is_ that thing?" asked Yusei, looking at the weapon.

"_This_, my friend," Crow proudly presented, "is the almighty Snowballer 6000! _Equipped_ with the state-of-the-art snowball fighting technology, this bad boy is _sure_ to pummel Aki to a _pulp_ with these snowballs!"

"Good luck with _that_," Yusei said flatly.

"And just _what_ is going on here?" another voice from nearby asked. Both Yusei and Crow turned their heads and saw that the voice belonged to Jack Atlas, who was a tall and serious man with purple eyes and blonde hair in a style similar to Rafael's. He also wore a fancy trench coat similar to Seto Kaiba's; so think of him as a blonde Seto Kaiba, if you can.

"Oh, Crow's just gloating about how he's finally going to get Aki back in a snowball fight," explained Yusei.

"Only because it's _ture_!" laughed Crow. Suddenly, something—or should I say some_one_—caught his attention. "Ooh! Here she comes _now_!" He quickly started scooping up handfuls of snow and put them in his weapon, and then immediately turned his body towards that very someone. "Alright, Aki Izayoi, prepare yourself! Because _I_, the great Crow Hogan, am equipped with a weapon whose features are far _beyond_ your possible imagination! I have the Snowballer 6000, the _ultimate_ weapon in snowball fighting technology! You may have won _plenty_ snowball fights against me; but now, it's _my_ turn, as I-"

Suddenly, Crow was _immediately_ pelted with several snowballs, which all came from Aki Izayoi, who had light brown eyes and curly magenta-colored hair. At this moment, she was wearing a dark-red-colored coat and ruby high heel boots. She also wore a dark-red-colored cap on her head. And she, too, appeared to be carrying a weapon similar to Crow's, except bigger and more advanced in technology.

"You were saying…?" she said with a smile. Yusei and Jack couldn't keep themselves from laughing at Crow's misery.

"Hey, _no fair_!" whined Crow. "_I'm_ the one with the Snowballer 6000, one of the greatest snowball-fighting weapons ever created!"

"But _I'm_ the one with the Snowballer _7000_," said Aki, cocking her weapon, "a _greater_ snowball-fighting weapon ever created!"

"6000 or 7000, or maybe even fifty-five trillion," Crow declared bravely, "I'm _still_ the one with the upper hand, since you've used up all your ammunition, whereas _I_ still have mine! _Now_ it's time I take you d-"

Once again, Crow was suddenly pelted with several snowballs, courtesy of kick-butt Aki.

"My weapon also comes with double the amount of ammunition," explained Aki, cocking her weapon once again.

"I'll… just call it quits…" Crow said weakly, as everyone else, including Aki, had another good laugh.

_

* * *

_

_Yes, everyone in Neo Domino _loved_ Christmas a lot…_

_But Placido, who—along with his two cohorts, Lucciano and Jose—came from some unknown galaxy with plans for world domination, who was now the head of Neo Domino's Sector Security after the late Rex Goodwin, but will eventually be beaten in a children's card game by Yusei Fudo, since stuff like this _always_ happens, but will still be the main antagonist of the second season—the same season this very story takes place in—at this very moment…_

_Did _not_…!_

And there was everyone's favorite 5D's antagonist, Placido, who was a tall man wearing silver-and-white-colored, futuristic clothing, including a hood. On his face was a gray metal piece of armor covering one of his two red eyes, on the right side of his face. At this moment, he was staring down at the city from his hideout with a frown on his face.

Suddenly… there was a knock on the door…

"I'll answer the door…" Placido said in a rather monotonous tone of voice. He slowly headed to the door and opened it, and there stood a small boy of five wearing a costume. "And just who are _you_ supposed to be?"

"Charity, kind sir?" offered the boy, holding out a kettle.

"_What?!"_ exclaimed Placido.

"Please, kind sir!" pleaded the boy, holding his kettle up higher. "We may live in a popular city, but there are still people who are hungry, homeless, and unfortunate! _Please_ give your earning to charity!"

"_Sure…"_ responded Placido with a wicked grin crossing his face. "I'll see to that _right_ away…" He turned and called out in a sing-song voice, "Oh, _Jose_…"

"Yes, Master Placido?" asked Jose, who was a large man wearing the same style clothing as Placido's. The only difference was that he had yellow eyes, and a long grey beard that stretched down to his stomach. There was also some kind of mask covering his mouth.

"It seems we have a little charity drive going on here…" explained Placido, his grin still on his face. "Give him the… _special treatment_, won't you?"

"Yes, Master Placido," bowed Jose, walking over to the boy. He quickly grabbed him by the arm, and pulled him into a different room in the hideout. The door that closed on them had the words "BEATING IN PROGRESS" marked in blood-red paint. This suggested that the room was some kind of beating room, since sounds of beating and cries of pain came from the room.

_Placido _hated_ Christmas—the whole Christmas season!  
Now please, don't ask why; no one quite knows the reason.  
It _could_ be, perhaps, his clothes weren't fit on just right.  
Or maybe it's because he carried a sword—what a fright!  
But I'll bet the most likeable reason of all  
may have been his heart was two sizes _much_ too small…_

"Uh… Master Placido?" called Jose, slowly peeking out of the door.

"Yes, what _is_ it, Jose?" asked Placido.

"I… I think I may have beaten the kid a _little_ too much…" answered Jose.

"Oh, just throw him down the chute that leads to the others," ordered Placido. "We shall dispose of him later."

"Yes, Master Placido…" bowed Jose, creeping back into the room.

_But, whatever the reason, his heart or his sword,  
he stood there on Christmas Eve, hating those… fools,  
staring down from his tower with a mere sour frown  
at the warm lighted windows below in their town.  
For he knew every citizen down in the city beneath  
was busy now, hanging a mistletoe wreath._

"_And they're hanging their stockings…" Placido snarled with a sneer.  
"Tomorrow is Christmas… but it's practically _here_!"  
Then he growled, with his leather fingers nervously drumming,  
"I MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!"_

_For tomorrow, he knew…_

_

* * *

_

_All of Neo Domino's girls and boys  
would wake bright and early—they'd rush for their toys!_

And at that moment in Placido's nightmarish fantasy, we see Lua, who was a short kid with turquoise-colored hair in a ponytail on the top of his head, suddenly wake up bright on the morning on Christmas Day.

"Is it _Christmas_?" he asked excitedly, quickly looking around the room. "It _is_! It _is_!" He tugged at the shoulder of twin his sister, Luca, who was still sleeping, shouting, "Luca, wake up! Wake up! It's _CHRISTMAS_!"

"Mff… Lua, it's quarter to six in the morning…" moaned Luca, who was a girl with the same hair color as him (they're twins, after all), but in pigtails, pulling up the sheets to cover her whole body.

"Come _on_!" whined Lua, quickly tugging at her again. "It's _Christmas_! Where's your holiday cheer?"

Luca just breathed a heavy sigh and grumbled, "_Fine_, I'll be with you in a few minutes…"

"All _RIGHT_!" Lua excitedly cheered, quickly rushing downstairs to the living room.

* * *

And in the living room a few minutes later, Lua and Luca, who were still in their pajamas, were opening the presents they have received from the big jolly man himself, Santa Claus. Lua appeared to be opening his presents faster than Luca, since we _all_ know how hyperactive boys like him _are_, right?

"_YES!"_ Lua cheered excitedly once again, holding up some kind of masculine action figure. "I've got what I wanted!"

"What _is_ it?" asked Luca.

"The all-new Duke Nukem action figure!" presented Lua. "Equipped with state-of-the-art laser-blasting technology!"

"Lua, are you sure that's even _safe_?" asked Luca with shock and horror.

"Oh, come _on_!" chuckled Lua. "How bad could he _possibly_ be?" He pressed a button on his action figure's weapon, and out blasted an actual laser beam, which left a hole through a wall of the living room. "Oops…" he said innocently.

Luca was almost as excited as Lua when she opened up one of her gifts. "Yes, this is _exactly_ what I wanted, too!" she squealed excitedly. "It's an official Total Drama Action Princess Courtney doll, who sings the all-famous 'My Prince Will Come' song!"

"Tch, that toy's _stupid_," pouted Lua.

"Well, at least it's not as deadly as _your_ so-called 'toy'!" Luca quickly counterpointed.

Despite the previous argument, both Lua and Luca were really having fun with the presents they have received from Santa Claus. This is exactly what Placido feared—but it wasn't _just_ from Lua and Luca's condominium; it would come from all the _other_ boys and girls of New Domino, who would be just as excited as they would!

_And _then_! Oh, the noise! Oh the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!  
That's _one_ thing Placido hated: the NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!_

_

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_

Then all the citizens, young and old, would sit down to a feast.  
And they'd feast…  
And they'd feast…

* * *

"AND THEY'D FEAST, FEAST, FEAST, FEAST, FEAST, FEAST, _FEAST_!" Placido furiously shouted, violently slicing a random dummy with the sword he unleashed from its sheath. His final slash completely sliced the dummy into pieces.

_

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_

They would feast on their pudding, and their rare, juicy roast beast,  
which was something that Placido just couldn't STAND in the least!

_

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_

And THEN they'd do something Placido liked least of all!  
Every citizen in Neo Domino—the tall and the small—  
would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing:  
they'd stand hand in hand… and the folks would start singing_!_

_They'd _sing_!  
And they'd _sing_!  
And they'd SING! SING! SING! SING!_

_

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_

And the more Placido thought of the whole "folk-Chrismas-sing",  
the more that he thought, "I must stop this whole thing_!  
Why, for _year_ after _year_ I've put up with it now!  
I must stop Christmas from coming!  
…But _HOW_?"_

"Um… Master Placido? Can I ask you something?" asked Jose, exiting the beating room as soon as he was finished.

"Not now!" Placido hissed. "I'm _busy_ hating my most hated holiday of all time that I hate most of all!"

"I know," said Jose, "but I _really_ want to ask you something… something that I've been meaning to ask you for quite some time now…"

"Alright, what do you _want_?" grumbled Placido, streaming his fingers through the top of his head.

"Why exactly must we brutally assault innocent people who are only trying to _help_?" asked Jose.

"And just what is _that_ supposed to mean?!" exclaimed Placido.

"I mean, come _on_!" reasoned Jose. "Right _now_, we've just mutilated some kid who was only trying to raise money for _charity_!"

"People should _really_ know their places in the world," grumbled Placido.

"And last week," Jose continued to rant, "we've mutilated an innocent little girl who was trying to make money to take care of her hundreds of thousands of kittens and puppies!"

"What difference does _that_ make?" asked Placido without care.

"There has to be _some_ reason that we're ending innocent children's lives so meaninglessly!" exclaimed a slightly outraged Jose. "I mean, what did those kids ever do to _you_?!"

Placido remained silent for a few seconds. Then he reasoned, "I don't know…"

"_You don't know?!"_ exclaimed a new completely outraged Jose. "_That's_ the best reason you could come up with! If this crappy author hadn't made me so loyal to you, I'd stick your own sword right up your-"

Before he could finish his sentence, the automatic slide doors slid open, and in walked Lucciano, who was a short kid wearing the same style clothing as Placido and Jose's. The only difference that Lucciano had green eyes, and that the piece of metal covering one of his two eyes was on the left side of the face, instead of the right. As he entered, he was mischievously snickering at some kind of book he was reading.

"_Lucciano!"_ Placido scolded him. "Can you not see that I'm in the middle of my pointless ranting?!"

"Sorry, boss," Lucciano chuckled, still reading his book. "I just can't seem to put this book down!"

"You can't seem to put _what_ book down?" Placido sternly questioned.

"Well," explained Lucciano, holding up the book: _How the Grinch Stole Christmas_, by Dr. Seuss, "it's about this one guy who hates Christmas as much as you do, and then disguises himself as Santa Claus in an attempt to steal it! But-"

"_What_, you say?" Placido asked with delight, quickly snatching Lucciano's book, and quickly skimming to the part where the Grinch planned to steal Christmas.

"Hey; I was _reading_ that!" pouted Lucciano. But Placido didn't listen; he was too busy admiring the wicked scheme the Grinch made to ruin Christmas. He slowly put the book down, with a _very_ wicked smile on his face.

_Then he got an idea!  
An _awful_ idea!  
Placido got a _wonderful_, _AWFUL_ idea!_

"Uh… Jose? He's having that look again…" Lucciano told Jose, feeling a bit uneasy.

"Don't worry, I'm sure it'll pass…" Jose calmly told him. Alas, the crazed look on Placido's face _didn't_ pass; he quickly grabbed some red fabric and some cotton, and then ran into a different room of their hideout even quicker.

* * *

"_I know _just_ what to do!" Placido laughed in his throat.  
And he made a quick Santa Claus hat and a coat.  
And he chuckled, and he laughed, "What a great, sneaky trick!  
With this coat and this hat, I look just like Saint Nick!"_

He eventually exited out of the room where he made his costume, right in front of Lucciano and Jose. "Well, how do I look?" he asked them.

"Um… boss?" said Lucciano. "No hard feelings, but I think Halloween was, I dunno, a couple months ago…"

"_No_, Lucciano!" corrected Placido. "Do you not _get_ it?! _I_, Placido, have disguised myself as Santa Claus in attempt to ruin Christmas for Neo Domino once and for all!"

"And just how exactly are you going to _do_ that?" Jose questioned flatly.

"_Easy!"_ explained Placido. "I'll rob the folks of _everything_ related to that dreaded holiday of Christmas; that way, they will have nothing to celebrate Christmas with!" He then cackled triumphantly, assuming that his plan would be foolproof.

"And why do _you_ have to be Santa Claus?" Jose brought up another question.

"_Hello!"_ replied Placido. "The story's entitled _How PLACIDO Stole Christmas_! And since my name is Placido, that makes _me_ the one who gets to play Santa Claus!"

"How could you _possibly_ be Santa Claus?!" cried Jose. "You're not as fat as Santa Claus, nor do you even have a beard!"

"Not have a _beard_, eh?" Placido snickered. "_That_ can be arranged…"

* * *

"I hate you…" grumbled Jose, his beard now completely shaven off, and attached to Placido's chin.

"Oh, calm down," scolded Placido. "I'm sure we'll make a hair growth formula once we succeed in our mission.

"Now then: Lucciano, since you're a good mechanist, I want _you_ to make us our sleigh!"

"Yes, _sir_!" Lucciano loyally obeyed, saluting him. He grabbed some nearby tools and went off to the garage to create their sleigh.

* * *

After about three hours, Lucciano was completely finished with making the sleigh. Placido and Jose have entered the garage to see the sleigh that he created. It appeared to be any ordinary red sleigh; but instead of reindeer, there was a brown-colored Machine Emperor Skiel Infinity in front of the sleigh.

"Honestly, you couldn't have made our vehicle less obvious?" sighed Placido.

"Hey; I _already_ spent three hours on it, okay?!" whined Lucciano.

"Fine, we'll keep it as it is," said Placido. "Now then, I want the both of you to be my elves!"

"_WHAT?!"_ screamed Jose in response to Placido's unreasonable demand. "You want _us_ to be your _elves_?!"

"Well, _duh_!" cried Placido, rolling his eyes. "_Everyone_ knows that Santa must have elves in order to be Santa Claus!"

"How could we _possibly_ be your elves?!" exclaimed Jose. "I mean, sure _Lucciano_ could be one of your elves; but how could _I_?!"

"Oh, don't worry," grinned Placido. "I've made a very _special_ costume for _you_…"

* * *

A few minutes later, Placido saw that Lucciano was already in his elf costume; the same elf costume the boy wore before his life abruptly ended. But Placido was still frowning because Jose hadn't come out in _his_ elf costume as of yet.

"Come on, Jose!" Placido impatiently called out. "What is _taking_ you so long?!"

"I'm not coming out…" grumbled Jose from the changing room.

"You _have_ to!" shouted Placido. "Or else we won't be able to ruin Christmas for everybody!"

"I'm not coming out!" repeated Jose.

"And why _not_?!" demanded Placido.

"Because this costume makes me look like an _idiot_!" shouted Jose.

"Oh, come _on_!" cried Placido. "I'm sure you don't look _that_ bad! Now come on _out_!"

Jose just breathed out a heavy sigh and slowly walked out of the changing room, wearing his elf costume. But the elf costume was a tad too small for him; thus, it revealed both his bare arms and legs, as well as his bare, hairy stomach.

"I _really_ hate you…" grumbled Jose.

"Aw, come _on_!" Lucciano mocked him in a baby-ish voice, pinching and wiggling his cheek. "You wook so _cute_ in dat costume!"

"I DON'T _WANT_ TO LOOK CUTE!" screamed Jose.

"Enough of this pointless bickering!" declared Placido. "We have a holiday to ruin! Now let's _go_!"

* * *

Later that night, right on Christmas Eve, Placido and his cohorts were now flying in their rocket-powered "sleigh", flying high above Neo Domino City, finding a good place to land.

"Where should we land this thing, boss?" asked Lucciano, who was driving the sleigh.

"_There_, looks like a good spot!" suggested Placido, pointing to Lua and Luca's condominium. Lucciano then flew the plane over the house. Then, as carefully as he could, he slowly lowered the sleigh until it completely landed on the roof. Although he landed it as carefully as possible, there was still a small thump heard from the landing.

_All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.  
All the townspeople were dreaming sweet dreams without care,  
when he came to the only biggest house on the square._

"_This is stop number one," the old Placido Claus hissed  
and he climbed to the chimney, empty bags in his fist._

"Alright, you two," Placido quietly ordered, "as soon as I make it all the way down the chimney, you pull down the vacuum!"

"Right," Lucciano and Jose quietly obeyed. Afterwards, Placido prepared himself to slide down the chimney.

_

* * *

_

Then he slid down the chimney—a rather tight squeeze.  
But if Santa Claus could do it, then so could he.  
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.  
Then he stuck himself out of the fireplace flue.

"Alright, I'm in!" Placido whispered up the chimney. A giant red tube—presumably the vacuum—slid down the chimney, and it was about a couple inches above the bottom of the chimney, where it would be out of sight.

_Placido then found little stockings, both hung in a row.  
"These stockings," he grinned, "are the _first_ things to go!"_

The stockings he found were each blue and pink, indicating that the blue belonged to Lua, and the pink belonged to Luca. Within a single swipe, he grabbed both stockings, and threw them both in the chimney, in which they were then sucked up by the vacuum. Afterwards, Placido continued in his mission to ruin Christmas once and for all.

_Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,  
around the whole room; and he took every present!_

_Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums!  
Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums!  
Duke Nukem merchandise! LEGO building blocks!  
Sketchbooks! Art supplies! Underwear… and socks…_

_And he stuffed them in bags. Then Placido, very nimbly,  
stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimbley!_

Just as it happened with the stockings, the bags stuffed with gifts were sucked up the chimbley—I mean, _chimney_—by the vacuum, which lead to his and his companions' getaway vehicle.

__

Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the folks' feast!  
He took their chocolate pudding! He took the roast beast!  
He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.  
Why, that fiend even took their last can of fresh hash!

Need I say this? Placido shoved all the now stolen food into the chimney, which was sucked up by the vacuum. However, that very "can of fresh hash" accidentally fell out of the sack and clattered on the ground, which awoke one of two very familiar sleepers upstairs…

_Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.  
"And _now_," grinned Placido, "I'll stuff up… _the tree_!"_

_Thus, he grabbed the tree, and he started to shove,  
when he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.  
He turned around fast—and what did he see?  
It was little Miss Luca, who was fifteen minus three!_

(A/N: This story takes place in season two of Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's, which is said to take place about one year after the first season with the Dark Signers. And since Lua and Luca are both eleven in the first season, it is possibly implied that they will be twelve in the second.)

_Luca was a girl with skin as smooth as silk,  
who had gotten out of bed for a cup of warm milk.  
She stared at Placido and said, "Santa Claus, _why_?  
Why are you taking our Christmas tree? _Why_?"_

Placido was surprised to see that Luca hadn't seen through his costume. Alas, he knew that she couldn't be fooled for long just because of appearance. Placido had to think of a good excuse for stealing the tree, and _fast_.

_But, you know, that fiend Placido was so smart and so slick;  
he thought up a lie—and he thought it up quick!_

"_Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Santa Claus lied,  
"There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side."_

"But the tree's working fine," counterpointed Luna; the tree's lights were all, indeed, working properly. "So there's no reason to-"

Astonished and horrified, Placido quickly unscrewed a random light from the tree, and rapidly stomped on it with his foot, crushing it into bits.

"Oh…" Luca then realized. Placido then continued:

"_So I'm taking it up to my workshop, my dear.  
I'll fix it up _there_—then I'll bring it back _here_."_

_And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head,  
and he got her warm milk, and sent her to bed._

Just as soon as Luca and Placido were at the entrance to the bedroom, Placido's fake beard accidentally fell off, thus convincing Luca that Placido wasn't really Santa Claus after all.

"Hey, you're not Santa!" she gasped. But Placido came prepared. He instantly sprayed some sleeping gas on her face, and Luca went out like a light. Placido fastened his "beard" back on, carried Luca to bed, carefully tucked her back in, and fled back down into the living room, to stuff up the tree once again.

_And when little Miss Luca went to bed with her cup,  
Placido went to the chimney… and stuffed the tree up!_

_Then the _last_ thing he took was the log for their fire!  
Then he went up the chimney, himself, the old liar.  
On their walls he left nothing but hooks and some wire._

_And the one speck of food that he left in the house  
was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse._

After both the tree and the firewood were sucked up by the vacuum, Placido yanked on the tube twice, and up he went, right up the chimney! The annoying narrator had indeed made a point; with all of Lua and Luca's holiday gifts and decorations now stolen, there _were_ nothing but hooks and some string lying on the walls.

_Then he did the same thing to the _other_ folks' houses:  
leaving crumbs much too small for the other folks' mouses!_

_

* * *

_

It was quarter past down—  
all the folks still a-bed,  
all the folks still a-snooze—  
when he packed up his sled:

_Packed it up with their presents! The ribbons! The wrappings!  
The tags! And the tinsel! The trimmings! The trappings!_

After his many trips involving plundering precious presents, snatching sweet sweets, and robbing roast beasts, Placido and his minions have finally stolen all of Neo Domino's Christmas presents and decorations, although it was Placido himself who did most of the work.

"Take us up, Lucciano!" Placido triumphantly commanded. Lucciano started up the sleigh's engines, and up they went.

"Where to, boss?" asked Lucciano.

"Up to the tallest mountain you can find!" ordered Placido.

"What for?" asked Jose.

"You'll see, once the narrator begins his narrating!" answered Placido, as Lucciano guided the vehicle to the tallest mountain he could find.

_

* * *

_

_Three thousand feet up! Up to the top of Mt. Crumpit,  
he rode with his load to the tiptop… to _dump_ it!_

"Wait… to _dump_ it?!" gasped Jose, as soon as they landed on the top of the mountain Lucciano found. "Isn't that a bit… I dunno… _meaningless_?"

"Oh, I'm sure that most of these gifts are fragile," said Lucciano.

"_Pooh-pooh, to those fools!" Placido was excitedly humming.  
"They're finding out soon that no Christmas is coming!  
They're just waking up; and I know _just_ what they'll do!  
Their mouths will be agape for a minute or two…  
then everyone in Neo Domino City will all cry: BOO-HOO!"_

"Looks like you'll have to wait on the whole 'dumping' thing, boss," informed Lucciano, checking out the vehicle's engine status. "After all this stealing, the engine is near to overheating!"

"Fear not, Lucciano," Placido calmed him down. "We shall wait, for I am just _excited_ to hear everyone else's misery and suffering!

"_That's a noise," grinned Placido,  
"I simply MUST hear!"  
So he paused. And he put a hand close to his ear.  
Placido _did_ hear a sound rising over the snow.  
It started in low.  
Then it started to grow…_

"Hey, all of our presents are missing!" one random child cried from down below.

"Yes…" Placido excitedly grinned.

"All of our food is gone!" another random child also cried.

"_Yes…"_ Placido grinned with more excitement.

"Christmas is _ruined_!" wailed yet another random child.

"_YESSS…"_ Placido squealed, shaking his clenched fists.

* * *

Sure enough, everyone back down in Neo Domino was frightened because all of their Christmas-related items were now missing.

"_How could this have happened?!"_ Lua panicked, quickly pacing around the center of the city. "All of my presents are gone! And so are the decorations! So is the _tree_! Christmas is _ruined_!"

"Lua, I'm just as upset about this as you are," Luca calmly told him, "but at least I have plenty of common sense to know that Christmas isn't _always_ about presents, decorations, or all of that stuff. Christmas is about all of us getting along together, and remembering the birth of Jesus Christ, the person who sacrificed himself to save this very world from sin."

There was silence for a few moments… and then Lua went back to panicking about Christmas being ruined. Luca just hung her head and breathed a heavy sigh.

Aki Izayoi, who, too, was at the site where the riot was occurring, had other plans to try and calm the riot down. She simply cleared her throat, and then sang in a beautiful and melodious voice:

"_Si-lent night…  
Ho-ly night…"_

With that, everyone, including Lua, stopped panicking to listen to Aki's beautiful voice. After a few seconds, Luca joined in with her singing… then Yusei… then Jack… then Crow…

* * *

Meanwhile, back on the top of the mountain, Placido was shocked himself—shocked that after he heard everyone's misery and suffering, he heard… jolly singing!

_But the sound wasn't _sad_!  
Why, this sound sounded _merry_!  
It _couldn't_ be so!  
But it _was_ merry! _Very_!_

_He stared down at Neo Domino!  
Placido popped his eyes!  
Then he shook—  
what he saw was a shocking surprise!_

_Every citizen in Neo Domino—the tall and the small—  
was _singing_! Without any presents at all!  
He _hadn't_ stopped Christmas from coming!  
It _came_!  
Somehow or other, it came just the same!_

Our now horrified Placido was mumbling to himself as he paced around in the snow, not believing that what he believed was his flawless plan had epically failed.

"Um… boss?" Lucciano tried to cheer him up. "It's really not that big a deal…"

"I don't you should interrupt him right now," suggested Jose. "He's having one of those moods again…"

"Good point," agreed Lucciano.

_And Placido, with his feet pacing around in the snow,  
was puzzling and puzzling: "How could this be _so_?!  
It came without _ribbons_! It came without_ tags_!  
It came without _packages_, _boxes_, or _bags_!"_

As Placido continued to pace around in the snow, Lucciano and Jose both decided to fill in on what the narrator was going to narrate next:

"And you'll puzzle three hours, till your puzzler is sore…?" began Lucciano.

"Then you'll think of something you hadn't before…?" continued Jose.

"'Maybe Christmas,' you'll think, '_doesn't_ come from a store'…?"

"'Maybe Christmas… perhaps… means a bit more'…?"

"And then, on this day—Christmas day…?"

"Your small heart will three sizes that day…?"

Placido immediately stopped his pacing around, and just stared down at the now jolly city, saying nothing for a few seconds. Afterwards, he slowly turned his head towards his companions—the only two friends he ever had—with a gentle yet misunderstood expression on his face; the rest of his body came along with his head. Then, five words broke out of his mouth. But these weren't just _any_ five words, you see: these very five words formed a sentence that he had _never_ said before in his life. That very five-worded sentence was _sure_ to change the rest of life as we all knew it. The very five-worded sentence Placido said was…

"You're **BEEP**ing _kidding_ me, right?"

Lucciano and Jose said nothing for a few seconds, seeing that this _wasn't_ the five-worded sentence they were hoping Placido would say.

"_**RIGHT?!"**_ repeated Placido in a loud, thunderous voice, violently unleashing his sword from its sheath and sticking it out in front of Lucciano and Jose. The two then quickly and innocently shook their heads no, as if they didn't want to be sliced into bits by their master.

"I have figured as such…" Placido said darkly, slowly placing his sword back in its sheath. He quickly headed off to the sled and declared, "I don't care if I made those pathetic fools cry or not; all that matters is that the presents are _mine_! And I know _just_ what to do with them!" He violently started up the sleigh's engines, and the sleigh rose at a dangerous altitude.

"But boss!" Lucciano warned him. "The engine hasn't cooled down yet!"

"_SCREW THE ENGINE, I HAVE PRESENTS!"_ shouted Placido. "PRESENTS THAT ARE SOON TO BE NO _MORE_, ANYWAY!" He cackled maniacally as he kept rising and rising… _until_…

_**BOOM!**_

And with that, the engine in the sleigh _did_ overheat, as Lucciano had warned him. As a result, Placido—who was dangerously high in the air—fell down and rapidly slid down the mountain, unable to control the sled, hollering along the way.

The only people left on the mountain were Lucciano and Jose, who were staring down at Placido's demise.

"Man…" groaned Lucciano. "I can't believe that the boss's actually going to die this soon…"

"I know how you feel, friend," said Jose, putting a hand on Lucciano's shoulder.

"Yeah…" Lucciano lightly sighed. There was silence as they kept on watching.

"Got any popcorn?" Jose quickly asked.

"No, but I have peanuts," said Lucciano, holding out two packets of peanuts.

"That'll do," said Jose, as he and Lucciano chowed down on the peanuts, now gleefully watching Placido head to his untimely death.

* * *

Unbeknownst to them, Placido actually _wasn't_ heading to his untimely death. And you want to know _why_ he wasn't going to die? It was all because of the evil acts of the no-good 4Kids Entertainment; _that's_ why!

"Wait… I'm not going to die?!" Placido cried with relief. "_HA!_ I'M NOT GOING TO DIE! ONCE I GET OFF THIS INFERNAL CONTRAPTION, I SHALL HAVE MY REVENGE AGAINST THOSE PATHETIC FOOLS!"

Instead, he crashed into a wall.

"_What?"_ Placido cried weakly. Before he could continue, he crashed into the wall of a random building in Neo Domino. The force of the crash resulted in the big bag of stolen Christmas goodies fling out of the sleigh and in the center of the town square surprising everyone else in the city.

"Hey, our presents are back!" Crow gasped with excitement, as everyone quickly ran to the bag to reclaim what was rightfully theirs. Yes, everyone was now _officially_ happy this Christmas.

Everyone except Placido, that is…

"_This_ is why I hate Christmas so much…" he moaned weakly, falling unconscious.

**

* * *

**

THE END

* * *

…Yeah, I don't think this was one of my best fics, either… =S

Also, for those of you who are religious, the whole "Jesus" thing, along with the mentioning of the kids being murdered by Jose, were _not_ made to be offensive in any sort of way; they were both made for entertainment purposes only. For the "Jesus" thing, I'm not sure if I'm religious; but then again, I know that I'm not anti-Christ, either. Just saying.

Still, I hope you all have a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year (not to mention a new decade! =O)! =3


End file.
